September 2011 - Bucharest Romania - Irish Pubs part 1

I spent a couple of days in Bucharest in September. Weather was lovely and I was staying downtown - which gave me an opportunity to wander around. What was the first point of interest I hit - yes, you guessed it the ubiquitous Irish pub - this one is called "Charlatans" very Irish if I may say.


It goes without saying that I was the only Irish person in the pub. The bar was staffed by very pretty and friendly Romanian girls - who smoked as they served - a first in all of my 35 years of drinking in Irish pubs - yes we do start young in Ireland! A Romanian football game was showing on the TV next to the darts board - no Sky ports here! All the guests seemed to be smoking - making me all nostalgic for the good old days - when men were men and pansy was the name of a flower. 

Only problem was they didn't know how to pull a pint! This is what really irks me about Irish pubs abroad - the essential lack of Irishness - the one basic skill of your Irish barman or as the used to be reverently called - the curate - unlearned or untaught. The staff all wear Guinness T-Shirts etc, there are signposts to Dublin, Cork and Donegal nailed to the walls, you can read the 1916 Proclamation - I'm sure the Romanians loved this - maybe Pearse's words gave the initial impetus for the revolution in 1989. I can just envision a load of Romanian dissidents getting fired up on Padraig's magic words - maith an fear thu!

All that stage Irishness is useless unless you can pull a pint! Anyway I taught the bartender how to do this -

1. hold the glass at a 45° angle to the tap.
2. start pouring...
3. stop when the glass is 80% full.
4. place the glass to the side and let the Guinness set.
5. serve other customers or smoke a cigarette, or go Romanian and do both.
5. after a couple of minutes, reverently top up the glass.
6. do not attempt to form a shamrock on the head, Irish people see this as demeaning and an affront to the nation as a whole.
7. ask the customer for 13 Lei and only when the customer has paid, do you give him/her the pint.
8. Say "Thank You" in your own native tongue - don't attempt any English / Irish phrases. You're not English/Irish  --> be proud of your Romanian heritage.


This the young lady accomplished with bravour. The pint tasted fine. Mission accomplished said me to myself.

I then took a look at the drinks menu and was amazed to read the heavy drinker column - normal drinkers are offered a pint of Guinness at 13 Lei, heavy drinkers can avail of the 10 pint offer at 105 Lei - a saving of 25 Lei, which would get you 5 halves of Tuborg. The only proviso is you have to drink the 10 pints yourself. Good thing though there is no time limit. You have the whole evening to down your 10 pints! Now why didn't they have that in the Dublin of my youth?   

 

On the way back to hotel from Charlatans, I was accosted by a man trying to sell me a woman. She grinned insanely at me while the man explained the modalities. I asked him politely if he considered me the type of man to be in need of such services. Obviously, in his eyes, I was. I explained to him that I was on the way back to my hotel where my lovely wife was waiting for me. My lovely wife, I continued, was much more attractive than his companion, she can converse with me in my native tongue(s), she shares my views, concerns, hopes for this world etc.etc.
I thanked him for his kind offer and grinned back insanely at the sex worker beside him.